Thanks for the wakeup call this morning. I heard the phone but could not hear your voice. kept being disconnected. What a bummer! I am glad we talked yesterday.Love hearing your voice. I don't know what has happened to us lately. Maybe it's because we have not been together yet and are getting impatient. It is not a good thing though not to trust each other, especially since we have only being calling, talking on FB and texted. We haven't touched, kissed or been physically involved but still we care alot about each other and much more. I don't want us to feel this way again. We have been so close and fought together (Tony, the immigration, obstacles of all kind). I hope this time we can make it, amore.
Ti amo molto. Bacci per te. Honey
I hope you're not gonna get upset at me for wht I am about to tell you. I know it is at the last minute but I feel I have no choice. I talked to the ADD this morning, explained the situation and ask her for advice as to how you should handle tony if a problem should arise. I di not expect that kind of answer or reaction from her. She told me that it almost seems like we used the fact that he hit me once on the lip as an excuse for us to get him out of the house and that therefore when he goes to Court on October 17th he could actually use that against us, actually against me. That could possibly cause me some trouble. The worst case scenario, due to the situation and the Squatter"s law if they rule in his favor he might be allowed to use my place as his residence til he finds something else and I would loose my order of protection. I know it sounds wack but that is unfortunately the reality. I am sure you are as upset and disappointed as I am but I am asking you to be patient and follow the ADD's advice to wait til after the trail for a visit. It would actually be better if I go up there because he would have no proof of my destination. My cell is fixed so please give me a call later so we can talk about this. I ams o sorry baby. Ti amo molto e sempre. Bacci, besos.
I just got the opportunity to open Facebook and read your message.I know you would be blinded by desire, that's why I did it. I am such a naughty girl, hehe....
Pauvre singe, il travaille overtime et ce n'est rien en comparaison du"overtime" qu'il va faire quand tu arrives a New York. Yeah, I want us to do it nice and slow! I want us to take our time.
Many kisses to you too, everywhere.
Je t'aime, mon amour.
Your message makes me feel better because I had to deal with Tony again this morning. He bothered me at home then he won't stop calling my job to start arguing. I told him that if he does not stop that I will go to Court. I told him he has to leave soon because it's over and I will never change my mind. He then called me selfish! If somebody has been selfish throughout the years it's him. I can't wait for you to come down here, Baby. I need you so much by my side. Whether he wants it or not he must leave. He has to accept that our love is meant to last and what we mean to each other. You are truly the man I was waiting for all those years. I love you sooo much.
Can't wait to hear your voice tonight!!
Your Honey Bea forever.
We will be together for our B'days the latest!
Let's talk about all this tonight and make plans. When there is a will there is a way! Love will find a way.
Your Honey Bea forever.
Now that I have a few minutes of privacy, let em tell you how I am gonna take care of you. First I will "try" to undress you slowly...if I am too impatient I am gonna have to rip your clothes off!!
I am going to kiss you slowly, then more and more passionately. I love French kissing and I am pretty good at it so I will stick my tongue inside your mouth, stroke yours, suck on it,caressing the inside of your lips with my tongue. I will also kiss your neck and nibble on your earlobe, using different levels of pressure. I will caress your whole body using my soft hands. I want to suck your nipples. I find it very exciting for both of us!
I will then move my way down south and take care of those speacial parts of yours with my hands by stroking the monkey first slowly then increasing the pressure as I look at the expression on your face. I will alternate between stroking the "singe" and using it as a lollipop with lots of tongue action, up and down on the shaft, the tip and using my lips as well. I will do that til you scream with pleasure then I will ride you and push you deep inside of me.
Now I think you are like a volacno about to erupt!!!
I hope you enjoyed reading my sex message :)
Til we meet in a month maybe we could do phone and text sex!!! What do you think? Would you enjoy that?
I love you with all my heart baby. I enjoyed hearing your sexy voice this morning telling me in details how you're gonna make love to me.
You are my true love Darling.
Can't wait to see you, be with you and have you inside of me.
By the way, I saw Tony this morning and he said he does not think you are right for me and that there is something wrong with you. I said that of course he has to say that since he is jealous. He would say that just about any man!! He also said he is worried for me and the kids. Look who's talking...he has got balls to talk this way after what happened!
I don't give a rat's ass about his opinion anyway. Who the fuck doe she think he is?
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David was in the midst of an emotional roller coaster in a long distance relationship ... an LDR? or so he thought.Family and friends tried to tell him that it was not real.She kept up with reassurances.
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November 20 at 10:41am
Hi amore mio.
I am so sorry the cell, your family and friends are puting doubts on your mind. Try not to be so insecure please because I suffered in my past relationships because of that and it does worries me. I understand perefectly your reasons though. You can't get in touch with me plus people are miserable with their own lives and try to put negative ideas on your mind so you drop me. That is so typical of them not to mind their own business. I don't care about them but I do care and love you. please don't forget that. I truly treasure you my sweetheart and I want to make you happy.
Thank you for the updates and taking care of business. You have shown me that you are the man who can take good care of the kids and me. I wanna build a future with you and be together til the day I die.
Tonight I have parent teacher conference at 7PM. I should be home by 8. We will have dinner then I will text you. It might be at 10 or earlier. I have a lot to do tonight since Mickey has a spelling and math test tomorrow to prep for. I cross my fingers we can talk. I miss your voice. Don't worry. You do not bother me at the hotel at all. It actually brightens my day!
Rest well sleepyhead.
I love you with all my heart. Ti amo.
Date: Mon, 15 Dec 2008 08:23:35 -0700
Subject: Re: CROSSROADS
Thanks for writing and let out some of the steam that has been accumulated recently.
Actually, believe me or not, I have no idea when we are getting the bonus. According to the ladies in the office, so far, no activity has happened with Bob. Usually, he takes hours checking every employee's hours,seniority ect..... We are all concerned that due to the lack of business in December he is taking his time and will give it to us a couple of days before Christmas. That is not cool! We are all upset.
I read several times your email and was a little surprised by some of the content and tone.
First, about the money. The reason I expected some help from you is because of the $600.00 on the Helio bill due to long conversations between Canada and the US, let's say half and half, the excess was paid thanks to your generosity and I appreciate your help but it seems like you are throwing it in my face and that it unpleasant for me. You lost $400.00 trying to cross over. It could be considered half and half but even if the DA had said it was ok, it would not have changed anything since you did not have a birth certificate.
Your lack of trust, insecurities and jealousy, well I think that they have been anchored in you for way before "out time". If the case was reversed and you had "cell" problems, I would not think anything bad of it because I am a trustful person. I suffered with two relationships because of such issues and although I don't consider myself paranoid or traumatized, I am still very sensitive and cautious, especially since I have two children. They are my life and will always come first, even before my own pleasure and convenience, which leads to the subject of me come and visit you in December alone. I am so sorry but that I can't do and it is not due to Mickey. I talked to Josh about it and to be honest with you, he is worried about me traveling alone to go and see a "man I never even met in my life". He likes you a lot but is still healing from what happened with his stepfather. It is gonna take him a while to open up to the idea of me being in a relationship. That surprised me when he told me so because he always seemed enthusiastic when he talked to you on the phone or I mentioned you and me but he only did it beacuse it made me happy.
I am so sorry to disappoint you but I have no choice but to stay in The States.
I have also wondered why we encountered so many obstacles over the least few months, as if a force out there was keeping us apart. I believe everything happens for a reason and our lives are in God's hands. It will be whatever he decides is best for us.
Recently, our relationship has been a burden on you emotionally. Obviously, all the delays, obstacles, lack of communication have made you unease and unhappy. I care about you a lot and don't like seeing you this way. I want you to be happy, even if it means for you to renounce to me and look for a good woman, living close to you that would bring you the happiness you deserve.
I think we are at the crossroads right now, not next year. It is hard for me to live under the pressure you are putting on me. I can't handle that. It is scaring me. I am sorry for being dramatic but I suffered a lot and don't want to go through that pain and problems again. I would rather be alone than live this way.
I am not breaking up with you but I need you to be reasonable and use another tone when we communicate via email. It felt very authoritative to me and I don't like it. I now feel very unease.
I am sorry if those words seemed harsh but I had to tell you how I feel. Let's both think about all this and talk in a few days.
Ti amo, I love you.
Bacci, bacci. your Honey Bea
Date: Thu, 15 Jan 2009 11:44:52 -0700
My dear XXX
I never imagined I would have to write these sad words but unfortunately due to our situation, circumstances and fate I feel it is necessary.
I appreciate your honesty in the diverse voicemails you left me as well as during our phone conversation yesterday.
You are a great human being with a heart of gold and I think you deserve much better than the situation we have been in for many months now.
We have been in a long distance, sort of "blind date" relationship in which we never had the opportunity to meet face to face and share some good moments ( and not just physically).
All the delays due to immigration, court, paperwork and complications of all kinds, including my damn cell have made you extremely frustrated and unhappy and that's not what I want for you. I want you to be happy and not feel lonely anymore. Even if we finally get together, what will happen next? More months of frustration til we can financially afford another trip? What about immigration and its suspicious system? Obviously it would be close to impossible for either you or me to immigrate even if we get married. Some kind of force out there has been keeping us apart for some reason. Maybe God has other plans for both of us?
I am so sorry but I think it is best if we put an end to all that misery. I will always treasure the memories I have of all our conversations. I will never forget them or you. You will always have a special place in my heart but I can't go through with this anymore and obviously so can't you. This is also putting a high financial burden on you and it is not fair. At your age you should enjoy your own space, in your own apartment or studio and enjoy life. Instead of that you are stuck between your mom's house and your job, without going out, meet friends and have fun. You also need some sort of emotional and physical contact with a woman.
I want your happiness that's why I am writing this letter to you. I did a lot of thinking last night and barely slept. I am very sad and will be for along time. I will be lonely and will turn all my attention on my boys' wellbeing and happiness.
I wish you happiness and please don't be sad. Deep inside,we both know it is for the best. Time heals all wounds.
We can keep in touch of course. Feel free to let me know how things are going. I will always be happy to hear from you.
I love you. Thnak you again for all the love, support and happiness you gave me.
Date: Fri, 23 Jan 2009 06:42:52 -0700
Subject: Re: Comprimise
Thank you for your email. I apologize for not answering sooner. I feel like I deglected you recently and I am sorry about that. It should not be this way.
All I have been focused on recently is settling my debts, try to save money and spend quality time with the kids.
I think I am going to some sort of phase as far as love, feelings and dating is concerned. I feel dry and empty as if I had nothing to offer. It is so strange and I hate feeling this way but it is the reality. I lost my libido and and am not even missing it. It's like I am used to be by myself and am fine with it.
Meanwhile you have been waiting patiently for me. Please don't wait anymore. That's not right. Don't waste both your time and money for me. Forget about me and focus on your self instead. Save money, get a studio to reach your independency and please go out and give other females a chance. It's not a life for you. You are 38, healthy and should enjoy" physical activity" and feel loved.
I care a lot about you, we have a strong bond, you are a great guy but I can't be with anybody now til I put the pieces of my life together and that's gonna take a long time. I am even thinking about moving to Florida within a year. I am fed up with New York, its people, the cold and the Mayfair but we'll see about that.
I am not depressed but finf myself indecisive and you should not have to pay for that. Please don't try to convince me to change my mind because once I take a decision I don't go back.
I hope I am not being too abrupt but I have to be honest with you. You are very dear to me but deserve better.
I wish you the best life can bring you. Thanks for everything you did for me and the boys.
Sent: February 24, 2009 9:28:09 AM
To: XXX XXXXX (XXXXX@hotmail.com)
I'll tell you what the purpose of life is, buddy. As of yetewrday I deny God's existence. You know why? Because no matter how much I pray him, he never listens. He does give me what can make my life finally peaceful and happy. I broke down at the job today. If it were not for Joe, I would still feel suicidal.
I have to make my peace with you. I am not the woman you think I am . I lied to you for months and cheated on you with my ex. I am expecting a baby boy in June. That's my punishment, my curse for beahvibg lime a slut and a heatless bitch. I hope you hate my guts now taht I have told you the truth. Find yourself a good woman and move on. There is nothing for you to be longing for cause i am not worth it. If it makes you feel better, I am very unhappy. Looks like I will never find peace and happiness but you will, trust me.
Good luck with everything
Beatrice had left another disturbing email to David with a depressed suicidal tone.He called up her boyfriend to get him to work things out with her and let everyone move on ... and then :
No more phone calls to Tony!!!
Sent: March 5, 2009 9:28:23 AM
To: 'David XXXXX' (xXXXXXX@hotmail.com)
Please, do me a favor. Do not call Tony ever again because there was no reason for this. I am sorry I sent you that email the other day. I felt depressed, stressed out and did not know who to turn to. I needed to let it out and that's what I did. I never said I was in any kind of danger. How did you obtain his cell, by the way? I never gave it to you.
Tony and I had a long talk yesterday and he was sober. We had no argument, just a simple talk between two responsible grown ups and it should always be this way. He asked me how come you called him and I had to admit I sent you that email, which obviously was the wrong move on my part. Of course it made him be unease which I understand perfectly. The main reason I broke up with him is because I had met you. The drinking was also a big part of it but not the only trigger, let's be honest here. I understand your concern and I really appreciate it but that decision you took to leave him such a voicemail could have had a negative outcome, meaning making things worse since Tony would be wondering why the man who caused the breakup and had a long distance realtionship with his woman for months now is calling him and seems to know about the problems in details. I was shocked and a little angry when he told me you had made that call AND left a voicemail. I wish you had consulted with me and checked on me directly either by mail, text or call before taking such a spontaneous decision.
I really like you but I think we should cease contact for now. This is not healthy. I am trying hard to pick up the pieces of my life and earn Tony's trust again since you and me had an emotional affair so by bringing you back in the picture like this with direct contact it is making things worse. He must avoid any stress or pressure that would trigger drinking.
I hope you understand and I am very sorry for worrying you. I hope my words were not too harsh but I felt the need to be honest with you.
Take good care of yourself. I will be fine. It might take some time but it is worth it for the children's sake. They need a father and mother who love and respect each other and also a safe, motivating environment. That's what my objective is.