To start, I was in a long term relationship for 19 years and we have 4 lovely children. The reason I’m upset I would like to tell this as on point as I can because we all know when two people brake up there’s always three versions of the story, my version, her version and the truth. I’m going to go through this step by step.
This all began on Valentine Day 2009, or though I thought. I came home from work and was told by the love of my life that her best friend gave her for Valentine Day a 500.00 clock that plays music. I thought that was a little odd but her friend is a little off because for years I and my exgirlfriend’s brother and mother always said she has guy tendencies. (More about that later) I was not that worried about it because if she was hot for her it was not out there like that with it, yet. But it did leave a bad teat in my mouth. I and my ex argued about the gift for a few days and she explanted that they knew each other for 12 years and it was real good friends and she was not sure if she was going to keep it. I left it at that because I didn’t want to fight about it anymore. Days pass and things go on as always but the clock was still in the house. I said nothing about it till I seen my ex texting her friend which they always talked on the telephone. I made a comment why was that texting for so long when she drove her home from work? Her reply was. “Why, so you lessen in on my conversation?” Again I said nothing but a feeling of discuss waved over me. A few more days pass and I no tested my ex taking long baths bringing her cell with her in the bathroom. This was really starting to bug me and I called her on it. We fought about it for a few day till one day we was going to take our children to her friend’s kid party, after she got home from work. I spend the day taking the kids out to the park and given them ice cream when she returned from work she told me that she’s had enough of us and she wanted to be able to talk to other people. I really had no idea on what she was trying to tell me. After a few words I didn’t feel like going anywhere, I stood home and she got a ride with her brother. It got to 9:30pm and I called her to see if everything was fine and she told me they would be home later. I said I would be sleep because I had to work the next day. She said that’s ok and hung up. I must have fallen asleep because it was 1:47am and everyone was asleep but she was in the bed with my 7 year old son in another room. I went back to my room and saw her cell-phone on its charger. I know it was wrong but I look through her cell to find a guy named Eddie’s cell number and some of the things he was texting to her. I put the phone back and got back in the bed. The following day we were both at work when she texted me but I just could not sit on this new info I now knew. I asked her who Eddie was. The text stopped and she called me on the phone. The first thing she said was, why I went through her phone, I asked again why Eddie was. She told me that he was a friend of her’s and that was it, as long as she was not sleeping with him it was ok. Days went on and we fight about the same thing. Finally, I gave up and tried to be understand but it was so hard for me because every time her phone went off I knew it was him, she would not pick it up she would just click it off and my attitude would change. This goes on for a few weeks and we were growing apart, we tried to talk about it but it would turn into a fight till I got fed up and told her to choose. That was not a smart move on my part because she came back with, “we need a break from each other.” My heart dropped and I felt sick to think after all these years it comes to this. I didn’t what to fight her anymore, I packed a few things and took a drive to Road Island and stood one night and did a lot of thinking. She called a few time to tell me how she loves me and don’t want to hurt me and I should stay out in Road Island because we need time apart to see if we are happier away from each other and I need to go on with my life. I begged her to reconsider but it was like she made up her mind. I came back and stayed away a few more days to give her some room. She called me again and told me that she went to a party with someone but there was no sex, no hand holding, and no drinking and she got back by 3: am. I thought to myself why is she telling me this for? Then it came to me, I was going over to take the kids out for awhile and she didn’t want the kids to tell me. But what she told me was a lie because my 13 year old told me that she didn’t get home at three, it was 7am. He said the he saw her at 3: am but she went back out and returned 7 and told him the she went to the store. I really don’t know what that was about. But when I was ready to return to my home she would not have it. She had me changed the locks on the doors and told the kids that I was working overtime at my job. Another few days and she called me to get the rest of my things and she was happier alone and how she didn’t need a man in her life right now but sooner or later she would move on. It was so hurtful to hear her say that and again I begged her to change her mind. On the last time I was in the house it turned into a show down because the kids got an ear full on how mommy cheated on daddy and how daddy is not leaving them mommy is throwing him out on the street, it just crushed them and I was done with all this. I don’t know why all this happened. I then left N.Y to go to SC which did nothing but drink and cry for the three days. I could not handle it any more so I took24 sleeping pills and fell out in the street. I was so sick I was taken to the hospital and they pumped my stomach and wanted to keep me for some time. I wasn’t going to do that so I signed myself out and headed for N.Y. I drove for 13 hours and talked to her mother and as soon as I hang up she call her little girl and gave her peace of her mind but it only made her mad. My ex called me as soon as I got to N.Y. and told me that I should not be talking to her mother about anything and she didn’t want to see me dead and I should stop thinking of myself and think about my kids that love me and cries every time I hang up after talking with them on the phone. Also tell me to pick myself up do for me. I’m staying at my job because I work in a hotel and I have been looking for a place but nothings come through yet. But I can’t sleep nor eat, the nights are so long and the days are unbearable. I don’t know what to do. I don’t feel this turning out any other way but I feel I will end up dead, I’m at the end of my rope.