This might be the last entry I do on “Face-book” because in a few days, (more or less) I will be dead or in jail. Why!?! You may ask. I got up this morning at 8:23 am to go do some much needed laundry. On the way to the local laundryman my youngest little girl text me to see how I was doing, being I thought this was a school day I asked her where she was. She said that she was in school but class has not started yet and she was thinking of me. We talked for some time when she tells me the mommy is acting weird. Weird? I asked. She told me that for the pass few night mommy think we are blind and dumb. Why? I press on. Because every time around 9:45pm when we are suppose to be in bed, she tells us to go to our rooms and don’t come out, a man comes by and hangs out in mommy’s room with the room locked. I asked; if you are in your room how you do know it’s a man? Because Joey’s (one of my sons) room is right next to hers and he said he had his door crack opened and he seen mom pull the man in and quickly closed the door. On the next night the man came by at 11:00pm and again they were in the room with the door locked. Now I’m agree, I asked her are you sure? And she said on the third night she peeked though her door and saw him. She said he looks like Mario. She added, mom told us whatever happens in the house stay in the house but I really miss you dad. I promised Julie that her mother will never know she gave me this info. I also asked her if he ever comes by again, text me and I’ll come over and introduces myself to him. I can see this going bad real first. I know myself and I can imagine all the things that are doing in the room where we slept were we did things. On the way back from the laundry I stopped and picked up a bottle of Jack Denial and try to stop this pain that has returned to my heart. I’m going to find it hard to sit across from her on Sunday (Father’s day diner planed some time ago with the kids) to sit there and pretended I don’t know. I can see it all now, Julie call me to let me know he’s there I’ll drive over and text Julie to open the door then I’ll tell her to go to her room and no matter what you hear don’t come out. I’ll go to the room me and this bitch use to share, I’ll kick the bed room door in because I know it will be locked, and right then my life will end there.
Hi, everyone it’s been a real long time but I’ve have a real big problem and I was wondering if maybe I did something wrong in this or am I just crazy. Please let me know.
To start, I was in a long term relationship for 19 years and we have 4 lovely children. The reason I’m upset I would like to tell this as on point as I can because we all know when two people brake up there’s always three versions of the story, my version, her version and the truth. I’m going to go through this step by step.
This all began on Valentine Day 2009, or though I thought. I came home from work and was told by the love of my life that her best friend gave her for Valentine Day a 500.00 clock that plays music. I thought that was a little odd but her friend is a little off because for years I and my exgirlfriend’s brother and mother always said she has guy tendencies. (More about that later) I was not that worried about it because if she was hot for her it was not out there like that with it, yet. But it did leave a bad teat in my mouth. I and my ex argued about the gift for a few days and she explanted that they knew each other for 12 years and it was real good friends and she was not sure if she was going to keep it. I left it at that because I didn’t want to fight about it anymore. Days pass and things go on as always but the clock was still in the house. I said nothing about it till I seen my ex texting her friend which they always talked on the telephone. I made a comment why was that texting for so long when she drove her home from work? Her reply was. “Why, so you lessen in on my conversation?” Again I said nothing but a feeling of discuss waved over me. A few more days pass and I no tested my ex taking long baths bringing her cell with her in the bathroom. This was really starting to bug me and I called her on it. We fought about it for a few day till one day we was going to take our children to her friend’s kid party, after she got home from work. I spend the day taking the kids out to the park and given them ice cream when she returned from work she told me that she’s had enough of us and she wanted to be able to talk to other people. I really had no idea on what she was trying to tell me. After a few words I didn’t feel like going anywhere, I stood home and she got a ride with her brother. It got to 9:30pm and I called her to see if everything was fine and she told me they would be home later. I said I would be sleep because I had to work the next day. She said that’s ok and hung up. I must have fallen asleep because it was 1:47am and everyone was asleep but she was in the bed with my 7 year old son in another room. I went back to my room and saw her cell-phone on its charger. I know it was wrong but I look through her cell to find a guy named Eddie’s cell number and some of the things he was texting to her. I put the phone back and got back in the bed. The following day we were both at work when she texted me but I just could not sit on this new info I now knew. I asked her who Eddie was. The text stopped and she called me on the phone. The first thing she said was, why I went through her phone, I asked again why Eddie was. She told me that he was a friend of her’s and that was it, as long as she was not sleeping with him it was ok. Days went on and we fight about the same thing. Finally, I gave up and tried to be understand but it was so hard for me because every time her phone went off I knew it was him, she would not pick it up she would just click it off and my attitude would change. This goes on for a few weeks and we were growing apart, we tried to talk about it but it would turn into a fight till I got fed up and told her to choose. That was not a smart move on my part because she came back with, “we need a break from each other.” My heart dropped and I felt sick to think after all these years it comes to this. I didn’t what to fight her anymore, I packed a few things and took a drive to Road Island and stood one night and did a lot of thinking. She called a few time to tell me how she loves me and don’t want to hurt me and I should stay out in Road Island because we need time apart to see if we are happier away from each other and I need to go on with my life. I begged her to reconsider but it was like she made up her mind. I came back and stayed away a few more days to give her some room. She called me again and told me that she went to a party with someone but there was no sex, no hand holding, and no drinking and she got back by 3: am. I thought to myself why is she telling me this for? Then it came to me, I was going over to take the kids out for awhile and she didn’t want the kids to tell me. But what she told me was a lie because my 13 year old told me that she didn’t get home at three, it was 7am. He said the he saw her at 3: am but she went back out and returned 7 and told him the she went to the store. I really don’t know what that was about. But when I was ready to return to my home she would not have it. She had me changed the locks on the doors and told the kids that I was working overtime at my job. Another few days and she called me to get the rest of my things and she was happier alone and how she didn’t need a man in her life right now but sooner or later she would move on. It was so hurtful to hear her say that and again I begged her to change her mind. On the last time I was in the house it turned into a show down because the kids got an ear full on how mommy cheated on daddy and how daddy is not leaving them mommy is throwing him out on the street, it just crushed them and I was done with all this. I don’t know why all this happened. I then left N.Y to go to SC which did nothing but drink and cry for the three days. I could not handle it any more so I took24 sleeping pills and fell out in the street. I was so sick I was taken to the hospital and they pumped my stomach and wanted to keep me for some time. I wasn’t going to do that so I signed myself out and headed for N.Y. I drove for 13 hours and talked to her mother and as soon as I hang up she call her little girl and gave her peace of her mind but it only made her mad. My ex called me as soon as I got to N.Y. and told me that I should not be talking to her mother about anything and she didn’t want to see me dead and I should stop thinking of myself and think about my kids that love me and cries every time I hang up after talking with them on the phone. Also tell me to pick myself up do for me. I’m staying at my job because I work in a hotel and I have been looking for a place but nothings come through yet. But I can’t sleep nor eat, the nights are so long and the days are unbearable. I don’t know what to do. I don’t feel this turning out any other way but I feel I will end up dead, I’m at the end of my rope.
Throughout history we’ve all read about epic battles and the heroes that raised up and the invasive that were put down. But I have to say nothing in my time on this earth have I been through something like this. I’ve have a really bad few months, and it has not gotten any better. The nails have been pasted into the coffin and there’s no turning back from this one. She said it’s the end of a new beginning but I say I’m done. Tomorrow she hired some guys to bring my all my thing from the house, she also said that it will take them 20 minutes to move 17 boxes of my stuff over to were I’m staying. I guess these guys are from her job but guys still the same. This is what she wants and it but for that past few days she’s been calling me every night at 9:35pm talking to me on the phone and ping real nice but every time I ask her let’s go out and get something to eat or go for a walk and talk, she tells me no, till she told me to stop asking and she will let me know when it’s time for that. (She will ask me)….. But in the mean time she is packing all my things to be moved.?????
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